May 28

Don’t Be Deceived By Clarity And Confidence (Use These Instead)


I was sitting with a coach I hired a few years back who asked me what I really wanted out of our work together.

“Confidence and Clarity” I said – ironically, both confidently and clearly.

And as you’ll see below, that’s what I wanted but not what I needed.

So that coach and I worked together until I felt both confident and clear.

Success story? Keep reading.

I was starting a new business, one I’d never done before and was both excited and nervous, hopeful and fearful.

So we worked on a lot of things together which bolstered my confidence and gave me clarity on what I wanted to achieve based on my past successes, failures and a vision for what I wanted to create…

Aaaaand I still failed, lost a bunch of money too. Ouch.

Confidence and Clarity can be deceiving – unless you’re repeating something you’ve done many times.

(And if that’s the case, you don’t really “need” anything, you got it covered, right?)

Then a few months back, the tables were turned.

I was working with a client who said they really wanted “confidence and clarity” – because she was reinventing her business, starting over in something new.

But I had learned from my failure.

There was zero reasons she should be “confident.” She had never done this new business before. Sure, she could draw on existing skills and education.

What she needed was Courage.

Courage to act even though she wasn’t confident.

She had a vision too – and we got it as clear as possible, like a freshly wiped windshield.

But you know what happens when you start a long journey, get in your car and step on the gas?

Bugs start smashing into the glass…

You hit the wipers but then it just smears bug juice on your windshield.

Then it rains.

Oncoming headlights refract against the dirty windshield blinding you even further!

Before you know it you’re barreling down the road with your head out the car window, trying not to slam into oncoming traffic.

I digress.

When Clarity fades, you need Contingencies.

Contingency Plans are options that allow you to adapt quickly to changing circumstances.

You get these through careful planning, I use a process I coined “Dream-mapping”, maybe you've heard me talk about it before.

Access to trusted advisors and a circle of supportive resources you can call on when you need them are helpful too.

Because Confidence fades in the face of danger.

But Courage faces the danger like goose facing down a bunch of cows who could easily crush her!

Because Clarity becomes cloudy given time and circumstances

But Contingency Plans give you options, outs and pivots.

Clarity and Confidence Feel Good

But They Don’t Get The Job Done.

So build Courage and Contingencies instead.

The result of knowing you have each is – paradoxically – confidence and clarity.

Kinda cool huh?

Back to my client…

How we developed her courage and created contingency plans is a story for another day, but she called me last week to let me know she’s breaking records in her business. So I guess something we did worked out pretty well.

P.S. If you’re reading this, if it struck a chord, and you’re in a position where you need a little insight too, you might feel the desire to reach out and say hi privately.

If I can shed some more light on that, I’m happy to see if I can help.


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